Top Ten Things You'll Never See Happen On YYH
by kuro-kitsune-neko
Summary: Just a stupid little thing I came up with at a sleepover while waiting for my friends to wake up. It's pure insanity with no real purpose. Enjoy. Edit: I realize it's only been 5 years since I posted this, but I would still like to apologize to the world.
1. Chapter 1

Title pretty much says it all. I'd like to point out that this is another 'written-at-a-sleepover' story, so it's not the sanest thing in the world. And in regards to the #s, for some reason, my pc won't accept asterisks. I hate this thing. Anyways, enjoy.

Top Ten Things You'll Never See Happen On Yu Yu Hakusho

10) Hiei dancing around, singing and picking flowers. Unless… Yusuke and Kuwabara got him drunk and high… At the same time… #scratchscratch#

10) Yoko giving up sex forever… Unless he became a unique (sp?)… And never wanted anyone to know… #sob# #scratchscratch#

10) Koenma actually fighting his own battles… Unless Yusuke and Kuwabara got him with the same stuff as Hiei… #scratchscratch#

!0) Yusuke and Kuwabara having a make-out session!... Unless the reason they got Hiei and Koenma was because they were drunk and stoned themselves. #scratchscratch#

10) Yusuke giving up fighting! Yeah! He'd never give up fi… Unless… Maybe… If someone threatened to kill someone he cared about if he didn't… He might then… #scratch.. scratch.. scratch# #sigh#

10) Kurama failing… Yeah! He'd never fail! Even with all the school he misses on missions, he still wouldn't fail! Alright!

9) Kuwabara getting 100 on a… Math test. Yeah… Well… He did pass that science test the one time he really tried… So if he tried even harder… #scratchscratch#

9) Yusuke actually learning proper etiquette… Well… Maybe if Kurama attacked him… And forced him to learn… But that wouldn't mean he'd use it #scratchscratch#

9) Yusuke USING proper etiquette.

8) Hiei helping an old lady cross the street! Yeah! #8 was easy!

7) HOW MUCH IS THE MILK? SEVEN! MWAHAHA!... #scratchscratch# No more jawbreaker for a while… Or Pepsi… Yeah…

7) Yukina becoming a punk!

6) Yoko saying he hates women. It's quite obvious he doesn't considering he's the slut of the Makai. I swear! He gets the annual award for it every year! He's the 150x champion! Honest! The ribbons are all stuffed in my closet!

5) Sha Gojyo of Saiyuki flinging himself onto Yoko and challenging him to a "Who's the Greater Slut" contest! #scratch.. scratch.. scratch.. scratch.. scratch!# I'm better now.

5) Karasujoiningthecontest! #SCRATCHSCRATCHSCRA—RIP!# … oops. Need new page.

5) Hiei singing about his love for Kuwabara. Even if he was totally plastered, he wouldn't do that.

4) Kuronue joining the Spirit Detectives. He can't because he's dead!... Unless he never really died… Or he did the same embody-a-fetus thing as Yoko… #scratchscratch#

4) Shishiwakamaru joining Yoko, Karasu, and Gojyo in their contest! #scratchscratchscratch#

4) Kurama reading A Pyro's Guide to Burning Plants.

3) Hiei reading How to Help Bring about World Peace.

2) TWO? TWO! ONLY ONE MORE LEFT AFTER THIS! YEAH!

2) Ok… I'm better… George finally snapping and killing Koenma… Oh! How come that one has to be true!

1) ONE MORE! I'M ON THE LAST ONE! OMFG! I'M ALMOST—

1) Yukina actually understanding what Kuwabara's doing… Unless someone explained it to her... that might take a while… Poor, innocent Yukina.

1) Renny of Shaman King challenging Kurama to a "Who's Got Girlier Hips" contest… #sob# #scratch…scratch…scratch# #sob# The truth hurts me. #sniffle#

1) DilandouofEscaflownejoiningthatcontest! … sob I need to let this subject go now… #SCRATCHSCRATCHSCra--# #sniffle# Why Kurama? #sob#

1) Dark of DNAngel joining Yoko, Gojyo, Karasu, and Shishiwakamaru's "Who's the Greater Slut" contest! #SCRATCH…# AND KRAD! #SCRATCHSCRATCH#

1) Okay! Okay! I got it! The #1 thing you will never See happen on Yu Yu Hakusho is the show turning into a musical!... EEK! BAD MENTAL IMAGE! CAN NEVER HAPPEN! #curls up in fetal position in a corner# #Kurama comes over to comfort#

Kurama-#with me clinging to him, sobbing into his shir#t Well that's The Top Ten Things You'll Never See Happen On Yu Yu Hakusho.

#curtains#

…CAN NEVER HAPPEN!

_**THE END**_


	2. Another Top Ten

It was requested by Yumiko-san that I make the Top Twenty things that were never going to happen on Yu Yu Hakusho. Well, after much procrastination, I sat down and tried. It didn't happen. So instead, with a plea for forgiveness, I've just added a second set of Ten here as a second chapter… And it's really cruddy in comparison to the first set, I find. Anyways, here it is.

10) Kurama admitting his undying affection for Karasu. #twitch# That's going to be the easiest one in this whole thing. #twitchtwitch#

9) Kuwabara beating Hiei in a fight. That's right Kuwa-fans. He'd never be able to beat Hiei unless he'd been severely weakened to the point that he had no more strength than a butterfly. (Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against Kuwabara.) … Wait… Technically that would still be beating him, wouldn't it? Damn. #scratchscratch#

9) Hiei suddenly becoming a pussy and saying that people shouldn't fight and crying about it. THAT is never going to happen no matter how drunk and stoned he is.

8) Kurama slitting his wrists. We all know he's an emo on the inside, but he's got common sense… Well, maybe if someone important to him died… Like Hiei… #blink#...#blinkblink#... I did not just say that. #looks around to make sure Hiei isn't nearby# We'll just scratch that one out. #scratchscratch#

8) Yusuke dieing and staying dead. I mean, come on! The guy's a freaking tank! He could almost pass for the energizer bunny! He just keeps going and going and going… Although… He does have to die of old age eventually, right?... #scratchscratch#

8) Hiei killing Yukina. That is NEVER going to happen. You could take control of his mind, threaten his life, threaten to kill everybody he knows, and that boy WILL NOT kill Yukina. He's a very good brother. #nods#

7) Hiei screwing Yusuke. (Submitted by Rekaya. I agree, because that would be just plain weird… Hiei screwing Kurama, on the other hand, is an entirely different matter and is very possible.) Although, I've recently read several fics by Ryukotsusei that make the pairing work. But the fact still remains that, based on the show, the pairing will never actually happen.

6) Koenma licking Kurama. Why did that come to mind? Because my friends are freaks, that's why. I said "Guy like Kurama" and everyone thinks I said "God licked Kurama", but I DIDN'T. So it's final. Koenma is never going to lick Kurama. Not if I have anything to say about it.

5) Jin getting anymore hyper than he already is. If he does, he's going to explode… Eww… Jin guts…

4) Yomi raping Kurama. That's never going to happen, right?... Right? Come on! Someone agree with me!

4) Karasu coming back to life. He can't, because Koenma would have to grant him permission and Koenma knows better than to do that. Kurama would have to kill him… If Karasu hadn't killed him already… After having raped him… #twitching fit# Dammit! Everyone wants Kurama!... Wait… That could actually happen, too, because Koenma never pays attention to what he stamps… Kurama is so screwed… Literally.

4) Yukina beating up Kuwabara. Or anyone for that matter. She's too nice.

3) I'd like to point out here that the pairing of HieixYukina is NEVER going to happen. That is called INCEST, children, and it is incredibly bad. Not only is it really gross and morally wrong, it also results in mutant babies.

2) Kurama getting pregnant. Kurama is NOT a hermaphrodite, therefore he CANNOT get pregnant and I think I'm going to cry. It just… #wimper# Why?

2) KuwabaraxYukina is also never going to happen, unfortunately. It's not that I don't like the pairing, 'cause I do. It's just that, realistically, Yukina's too innocent and Kuwabara is too much of a gentleman. That's right folks. I said gentleman and Kuwabara in the same sentence. I don't care who doesn't agree with me, it's the truth. He's a punk-ass, loveable, cat-loving gentleman. #nods#.

1) Hiei killing Kuwabara. Believe it or not, they're friends. They just don't show it in a way that most people would. Kinda like when a boy teases a girl he likes to piss her off because he's too immature to admit his feelings… No, I'm not saying that Hiei and Kuwabara like each other in that way… Under further consideration, though, I think Hiei might bring himself to kill Kuwabara to save Yukina. Hell, Kuwabara would kill himself to save Yukina.

1) Hiei using the black dragon on his teammates. He's a very honorable person, even if he acts like a real jerk most of the time… Err… Shit. And this goes back to the "Hiei killing Kuwabara" thing. One would have to wonder if Hiei will put family over friends…

1) ……………

Okay, here's the deal. I honestly can't think of the number one thing that will never happen on Yu Yu Hakusho. So, I'm going to ask you, the readers, to choose for me. Anyone who wants to can place a review saying as many things as they want in regards to what they think will never happen. After a certain period of time, I'll choose one of however many I get (if I even get one at all) and that will be the winner. The others will be posted as well (again, if I get more than one). So here's YOUR chance to decide. What's the Top Thing That is Absolutely Never Going to Happen on Yu Yu Hakusho?


	3. Number One!

Ok! I have FINALLY decided to write up the #1 thing you will never see happen on Yu Yu Hakusho. I apologize for taking so long, but I couldn't help it. When I first put this challenge up, I didn't expect anyone to actually bother with it, but when they did, my ego inflated. The delay was caused by me waiting in hopes of more reviews. :p Like I said, sorry. So, now, this is a birthday present to all of you… Even though it's not your birthday, it's mine... Or, at least, it was a few days ago... I kinda forgot to post this then. ;p Anyways, the winner was judged on the complete and total insane randomness in their idea. So, who's the winner, you ask? Well… The winner is… sz minamino! Yay! Your prize is cookies and love! Sz's entry (out of several) is…

The characters rebelling and refusing to do as Yoshihiro Togashi says.

Hooray for random ideas! There are quite a few other entries as well, that will now be made known to you.

Botan becoming a Goth. By kei

Kurama hurting Shiori. By sz minamino

Kurama cutting his hair. By sz minamino

The Tantei being killed by a demon stronger then themselves and not getting resurrected. By sz minamino

Hiei giving up his powers. By sz minamino

Genkai and Toguro getting together again. By sz minamino

Hiei liking fan girls. By Fire Demoness Jaganshi

Hiei crying. By Fire Demoness Jaganshi

Hiei getting married to anyone on the show or off set. By Fire Demoness Jaganshi

Yusuke killing Keiko. By Fire Demoness Jaganshi

Keiko turning into a demon. By Fire Demoness Jaganshi

Kurama turning on his friends. By Fire Demoness Jaganshi

All the guys become gay and turn into a group of sex-crazed perverts. By Fire Demoness Jaganshi

The Spirit Detectives join American Idol and make it to the top twelve. By Thought Spinner

And there you have it! These are all the entries I received. As appreciation, you all receive my love as well! Thank you very much for your patience. I hope you have enjoyed my insanity, and I really do appreciate yours.


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